A Singing Sisterhood
by Martha Krienke
Becca (24), Alyssa (22) and Lauren (19) Barlow are not your average girls. Forming a Christian rock band called BarlowGirl based in Illinois, these three sisters are committed to abstinence until marriage, dressing modestly and saving their hearts for their future husbands. Their stand for purity inspired the Christian band Superchic[k] to write the song “Barlow Girls” after the sisters met the band at LifeFest Christian music festival in Wisconsin.
The song became a huge hit and resulted in the creation of www.barlowgirl.net that unites teens and young adults with mutual commitments to purity.
Part of Superchic[k]’s “Barlow Girls” song says, “They don’t date/They won’t date/They wanna see how they’re gonna grow up/Who they’re gonna be.”
What would make three talented, beautiful girls choose not to date? After talking with their parents and reading a lot of books, each of them decided in their single years to fall in love with God and put aside any distractions.
A Family Thing
The Barlow sisters got their start as their dad’s backup band during the children’s ministry program at their church: Lauren played keyboards, Becca played the bass guitar and Alyssa sang. Today their dad supports his daughters’ band full time, so now Lauren plays drums, Becca plays guitar and Alyssa plays bass guitar and keyboards, all contributing to singing.
These sisters are excited to see how God will use their music to speak a message of purity and modesty to teen girls.
“We pray our husbands are waiting for us, too,” says Alyssa. “I hope ‘Barlow Guys’ will step up. There are many ‘Barlow Girls’ waiting, and they’ll be looking for some godly guys.”
Willing To Wait
The Barlow sisters choose to pursue group activities with an uneven number of guys and girls. “We’ve tried to stay away from the one-on-one thing because we’ve found that it’s easy to get emotionally involved,” Alyssa says. “Especially for a girl. It’s so easy to let your guard down.”
But not dating isn’t just another rule the Barlow girls have placed on themselves. They see many benefits of using their single years to grow closer to Jesus. “It’s about saying, ‘All right, God, I’m putting aside these distractions that are keeping me from giving my heart to You 100 percent. In Your timing, bring the right person into my life,’ ”Alyssa says.
Waiting on God’s timing isn’t easy. The Barlow girls have faced lonely times, but God has brought people in their lives for support. “We’re really close to our sister-in-law, who also didn’t date [before meeting our brother Josh],” Alyssa says.
Some assume that being a “Barlow Girl” means Becca, Alyssa and Lauren have zero emotions toward guys. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. “The initial attraction is totally normal,” Alyssa says. “The hard part comes in learning self-control.” The girls explain that when a person dwells on a guy, she’s gone overboard and is no longer guarding her heart.
“We believe it’s important to date the one you’re going to marry. What we say is don’t give your heart away until God has shown you it’s the right person,” Becca says.
The girls believe God makes His plans known to them through prayer, guidance from their parents and other spiritual leaders. And, of course, if the guy you’re in a relationship with turns out to be a jerk, common sense would tell you to break off that relationship before marriage.
Their first date isn’t the only thing the Barlow sisters are saving for their future husbands. “We’re saving our first kiss, and we’re saving the first time we hold hands. It’s going to be a first for everything when we finally meet our spouse,” Lauren says. “It’s very exciting,” Alyssa says. “We have a whole gift that we want to give him. We want to save everything for the one person who’s meant for us.”
What Not to Wear
Their album BarlowGirl also addresses modesty. The song “Clothes” says, “Clothes aren’t what they used to be/They don’t seem to fit you and me, anymore/ Modesty is out the door/Flaunting what we’ve got and more is in/Yeah, it’s in.”
The Barlow girls are cautious when buying clothes. They show that dressing modestly can still be cool, colorful and hip by combining shirts to make an outfit.
They encourage girls to stop buying immodest clothes. “There’s more of us than them, so if we don’t want it, they’ll have to give us something different,” Lauren says.
When singing about modesty and purity, these three sisters remind their listeners that they still deal with these issues every day. “We have an opportunity to say that we’re real, we struggle with these things, we fell here, but God has lifted us up. We have never written a song that said ‘We learned this, here you go.’ We’re still going through this. Our songs still help us!” Alyssa says.
